Voldemort Annoyance
by Bellum Gerere
Summary: 75 ways to annoy our favorite former Slytherin. Almost as fun as giving Voldemort a hug.


VOLDEMORT ANNOYANCE

1. Declare it "Give Voldemort a Hug" day

2. Re-Decorate his bedroom with pictures of Harry Potter covering everything

3. Force him to live with Dolores Umbridge

4. Replace all his black robes with pink fairy princess costumes

5. Declare it "Give Voldemort a Hug" week

6. Lock him in a room with Ron Weasley

7. Replace Nagini with a fluffy bunny rabbit

8. Declare it "Give Voldemort a Hug" month

9. Make him spend twelve hours playing the "Barbie as Rapunzel" computer game

10. Call him "Moldy-Wart"

11. Set him up on a blind date with Dolores Umbridge

12. Declare it "Give Voldemort a Hug" year

13. Make him spend forty-eight hours watching "Dora the Explorer"

14. Put chili peppers in his brownies

15. Make him donate to charity

16. Take him to visit a special person (Gildoroy Lockheart) at St. Mungo's

17. Make him stare at a wall for three days

18. Declare it "Give Voldemort a Hug" decade

19. Force him to help the decorating committee for the "Give Voldemort a Hug" dance

20. Tie him to Ron Weasley

21. Make him read a book about potty training thirty times in one day

22. Make him spell "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"

23. Set him up on a blind date with Bellatrix Lestrange

24. Force him to be on the England swimming team for the "Give Voldemort a Hug" Olympics

25. Declare it "Give Voldemort a Hug" century

26. Force him to start a collection of Barbies

27. Set him up on a blind date with Peter Pettigrew

28. Force him to be a contestant on the new reality show "America Gives Voldemort a Hug"

29. Make him watch the Jerry Lewis marathon that is going to be on TV tonight with Ron Weasley

30. Make him write the letter Q twenty-five times

31. Buy him a Jerry Lewis poster

32. Make him pose for the cover of "Give Voldemort a Hug" magazine

33. Tell him Harry's lost interest in fighting him.

34. Post the results on YouTube

35. Celebrate the "Give Voldemort a Hug" bicentennial

36. Start randomly humming the Darth Vader theme whenever he walks in the room. Continue humming it while he's talking.

37. Force him to watch Charlie the Unicorn.

38. Go up to him and say "Tralfazz"

39. Tell him the makers of all his robes have gone out of business. Post his reaction on YouTube.

40. Celebrate "A Thousand Years of Giving Voldemort Hugs"

41. Tell him that his fly is down

42. Set him up on a blind date with Minerva McGonagall

43. Lock him in Dolores Umbridge's office with Dolores Umbridge

44. Make him read "Who Am I" by Gildoroy Lockheart

45. Lock him in Weasley's Wizard Wheezes for twelve years

46. Make him attend the annual care bear convention

47. Go up to him and say "Tralfazz" twice

48. Make him attend the annual "Say Tralfazz to Voldemort" convention

49. Give him a dung bomb, and tell him it's actually chocolate

50. Set him up on a blind date with Petunia Dursley

51. Send him to live at the Burrow

52. Make him play the "Dora Saves the Snow Princess" video game

53. Replace his wand with a pink teddy bear

54. Make him read "Hugging Voldemort for Dummies"

55. Make him read "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Hugging Voldemort"

56. Force him to spend an entire day watching Fred

57. Threaten to make him marry Dolores Umbridge if he doesn't sing "Lollipop" for seventy-two hours

58. Send him to live in Antarctica

59. Slam a pie in his face

60. Follow him all day while singing "I'm following you, I'm following you, oh Moldy-Wart, I'm following you"

61. Make him ride a rocking horse, and secretly videotape it

62. Post it on YouTube

63. Take him to eat at Weenie Hut Jr.'s

64. Read his diary

65. Send him to Missouri

66. Tell him he looks like Dora

67. Post the results on YouTube

68. Wake him up from his nap by screaming "TRALFAZZ!"

69. Make him play "Give Voldemort a Hug Scene it"

70. Set him up on a blind date with Dudley Dursley

71. Force him to read "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Tralfazz"

72. Give him a hug

73. Tell him he looks just like his father. Post the results on YouTube.

74. Go up to him, say his name repeatedly, and when he says "What?" say "We're on a bridge, Voldy."

75. Make him read this list

_Hope you like it! Up next-Jacob Black Annoyance! Enjoy! Thanks to my brother "Harry" for his assistance in writing it and the wonderful choices for Voldemort's blind dates._

_-Alice :P_


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